Fourth Year Of Being Abba

Four years and growing stronger.

I always thought that the fastest moving thing in the past century has been technology, but it is my kids who have shown me how wrong I was. On an average every year something new comes along making the current gadets obsolete. My boys on the other hand, on a progressive rate everyday, sometimes even less, do something new to astonish and perplex us, as to what part of their learning curve did we slept through. 

As parents we ourselves are growing rapidly, but are pace of learning is just not fast enough. Now I know how older people feel when they get a new piece of hardware which was not even conceptualised a decade ago. On one hand I want them to grow slower, on the other, I want them to reach perfection in minutes.

They say you should love the work you do, and it won't seem like work at all. I love being a father, but trust me, its no piece of cake. It's a battle I am looking forward to lose and win at the same time. 

To my boys I say, grow at your own pace, but let me grow along with you.

Love

Abba

Abba Turns 3

July 20th 2019, as my eldest turns three, so does his Abba and three years on, the surprises continue.

If you think getting married changes your life, wait till you have kids, it changes you as a man. Your goals and ambitions in life are just a tiny part of the change, your perspective of life changes the most. Today I don't plan any future for myself without thinking of myself as only a resource for my children.

Having two kids with a close age gap has it's merits and pits, on one hand as we enjoy each stage of their growing up for a lot longer, their possessiveness towards us and anyone who gives them attention also grows, so it takes twice our energy to keep them entertained. However, now as they understand each other's level of energy, they are going past their jealousy phase and I can see the beginning of a bond, that I pray I witness it grow stronger till and beyond the end of my days.

As much as I want my kids to stick to their respective ages, I can't wait for them to grow a little more each day so I can plan my adventures with them. Let's see what the future holds for us and pray that we have the strength, means and courage to make the best of our endevourers ahead.

May the Almighty bless us all.
Love and best of wishes.
Abba

Father Turns Two

His routine was to feed, cry and soil himself, but now he runs, jumps, expresses emotions, and mimick your every action. It pleases you when he does what you taught him to do, but it astonishes you when he does something he learnt on his own, and now that's a new thing everyday.

You come home tired, lie down in front of the TV with your right leg over your left knee. He walks in, calls you out, when you don't respond he lays besides you with the bottle in his mouth and his right leg over his left knee. In that moment you realise two things; one, your kids is amazing and two, you are not tired anymore.

His favourite thing to do, is to do what I do; answer the phone and role his eyes, ask for tea every five minutes and respond to every question with only one word ('Hmm' 'hmm?', and 'hmm!' it's our language)

He is not alone anymore, he has a younger sibling in training mode, who I guess will catch up real quick.

The number of achievement a child takes receipt of in the first two years of his life, feel like the the number of technological advances that humans have made in the past century. You can take credit for some of it being the tutor, but you have a little over three decades of experience, so perhaps it doesn't count.

Looking forward to the adventures life has in store for us.

A Letter To My Son - 1

20 July, Father turns One


To my Son

Nothing prepares you for fatherhood, not even your niece and nephews whose diapers you might have changed once in a blue moon. The feelings and emotions that crawl under your skin are as strange as visiting a country where they don't speak the language you know. Movies and television are too far off from reality. You don't feel responsible, or maybe you do, but you certainly are confused. 

You are a father, because now you have a child? I wish I became a father before I had my first born. The feeling of unpreparedness made me feel like a tourist in my own home. I knew I should be responsible now, but in what way?

The first time I felt like a father was not when I held my son in my arms, not even when I tried opening his palms and he grabbed my finger. The first time was when he was crying helplessly and calmed down only when I picked him up. For the first time in my life I felt all powerful and vulnerable at the same time. 

Being a father is an incredible new chapter in your life, you suddenly become an adult. Now you have new goals, a new vision and an unavoidable need to grow and mature with the selection of your life choices.

But that's just the father, there are many more new born relations that have come into being. And there is only one other person I feel who enjoys and beholds more of everything than the father, and we all know who it is.


May the almighty bless us all.

Amen

A perfect Sunday

Born and brought up in Delhi, it is embarrassing that I never knew what a gem my city holds. And what is even more embarrassing is the fact that the person who has brought it to the limelight is not a local.

A tour guide company run by Jack Leenaerts, a former correspondent for a Dutch daily De Telegraaf,  who organises bicycle tours in Old Delhi, was out trekking with some friends in the uninhabited hills of Aravali when he discovered this beautiful fresh water lake, known as Rachna Lake by the local villagers.

Located in the Asola Wild Life Santuary, this is probably the best kept secret of this large and vibrant city. There are no proper roads that lead to the place and perhaps this is what has helped maintain its natural integrity intact. Our tour guide Victor and Raju turned the trip into a two hour trekking expedition, by taking us through boulders of Granite and steep slopes of crushed Quarts stones. Besides a Nilgai and other wild animals you might find a few cactus and other thorny plants which might scratch and sting, if you are not careful. But when you reach the lake all the trouble you go through will make it even more worth your while.

The water is cleaner than any swimming pool I have been in and the lack of human inventions and stores makes it a perfectly soothing Sunday getaway.

"We shall not cease from exploration. And the end of all our exploring. Will be to arrive where we started. And know the place for the first time" T.S. Eliot 

22nd March, 2015

PS: if you are planning a visit, I have just one suggestion or rather a request, don’t! Litter, it’s easier to keep clean than to clean.

To really know someone

We all need to know someone. Maybe for a job, to be friends with, to work with or even car pool with and most importantly to spend your life with.

There is only so much you can put on a CV or your online social profile. The more information you look for the more information you will need to get a better picture. My maternal uncle uses this phrase very often ' a specialist is a person who knows more and more about less and less'. 

But humans are not an object they are a species who can differ from their entire population. The worlds most fierce dictators were students of fine art, but their cruelty was not taught in schools. A human's identity can not be determined by his name, qualification, job or ambition and maybe not even by the company he keeps. You won't judge a jail's warden to be evil because of the inmates he guards and spends most of his day with. Sure he is a gate keeper but who is he really stopping from crossing over. Lotus grow in mud, diamonds are found in the black pits of the earth, a saint is born amongst the corrupt. 

Humans don't just cut trees, they can burn them for fuel, make weapons to hunt, carve them into piece of art, make homes, or simply do it for someone else. It is not important to know what he does it is important to know what he does it for.

My advice don't google them, ask the person directly, if he is lying to your face, then what assurance is it that he is telling the truth online. Trust your instinct before you trust the source, if God is with you he won't let you choose wrong. :)

The Noble Thing to Do

I come across fresh graduates who cannot find a job without experience, but don't want to work in call centres or jobs which do not add high value skills to their CV. For such graduates, whose ethics have not yet been corrupted by the system, working for an NGO seems like a noble task, but the concept of voluntary work without pay makes them hesitant in this day and age of fast lives.

The dilemma of doing good for the society, but the fear of lack of income not only haunts the young but also the much experienced employees, professionals and entrepreneurs. We all want to add value to our lives and not just money, but our wants always overshadow our needs in a manner which strangle us in a web of working more like machines than humans. When younger we all wanted to work in 9 to 5 environments but our ever growing wants makes the little joys of life redundant.

While we struggle to full fill our wants, there are those who cannot meet their own needs. Is there no way out of this guilt?

If God did not want us to work for more than our needs, he would have made us live on trees, and if He did not want us to help each other and be a social animal, he would have not made us humans.

Fulfilling wants is futile, but providing what one needs is much easier.

No matter what you do, provide for someone's Need, and make it a routine. Your wants won't reduce but the guilt will.

27th May, 2014